For my Mother…I may never get another chance.

I’m so fearful of the idea that one day you will leave me, that I often forget to live in the moment. Sometimes, I lie awake, just thinking about what life would be like, when you leave me. You are the first person to love me, before any other. Your sacrifices are endless. I remember when we had to live on banana sandwiches for a while, yet you made it feel like I was eating the best meal on Earth, everyday. I remember hardly seeing you, because you were working day and night, all for us. When Anna and Akka were out, figuring their own lives out, I saw your struggle. I remember your tears, I remember you wiping them away and I remember you smiling. I remember you always telling me to try. My success wasn’t important toย you, it was the journey that you were most impressed with. That’s something I have always remembered.

No one puts up with my stupidity, as well as you do. You understand what I feel, without me having to say anything. You remember what it was like being my age and you never stop me from enjoying my youth. You allow me to express myself, without being judged. You give me so much freedom. You know when to give me space and when to smother me in love. You remind me of your mistakes, so that I know that my mistakes are human. You understand the way I look at the world, you understand it’s unconventional and very unlike the way you see it, and yet you never make me feel bad for it. You show your pride through the respect and love you have forย me. I only hope to extend these amazing qualities, when (and if) I become a mother.

You’re my best friend. You are so much fun to be around. I am beyond proud to call you my Mother. I know I’m not very emotional, and sometimes I beat myself over how I don’t express my love for you. It’s unusually easier telling other people how much I love you, than telling you yourself. I think since Appa’s passing, I have grown more and more fearful of losing you. I guess I think that detaching myself from you will make that dreaded day easier on me. I know I’m wrong.ย Thank you for showing me what love means. You have given me a very comfortable life, through your struggle. I know I’m very hard to live with; I’m a minimalist and you’re very opposite. I like how you never give up your ways for me – it reminds me of how strong of a woman you are.

I know your old age has weathered our relationship. It has also brought us closer. It’s a constant reminder of how limited my time is with you. I know what you’re going to say: “I’m not old, I’m still a spring chicken.” The truth is, I don’t want to regret things unsaid.ย You will never understand how much I love you, Ma. I want to proclaim it to the world. My love for you is infinite. I will always love you, for the rest of my life. Please, never forget that. I don’t ever want you to leave me. I know one day you will, and that’s something I’m slowly growing to accept. I just hope you know that as emotionless as I am towards you, I love you hundred-fold more. You leaving me will, without a doubt, crush me, but I want to relish in the memories I have of you. I love how fun you are, your zeal for life and how adventurous you are. I love how nothing stops you. I love how unbelievably strong you are. More than anything, I love how you are just you.

As your memory fades, I just hope you remember this. God knows when I’ll be able to say it to your face. I know when you read this, tears will be streaming from my eyes. It’s from the bottom of my heart, Mum. I love you very much. You have no idea. You will never leave me, even when you physically do. My love for you will carry on, beyond graves and lifetimes.

Usually, before I sleep, I say two things out loud that I’m thankful for. The first is usually something that happened/I felt during the day. The second never changes:

Thank you, Universe, for my Mother.

A serious post – being sad sucks!

Source: theadventuresofspreadsheetgirl.blogspot.com

Source: theadventuresofspreadsheetgirl.blogspot.com

Recently, I’ve had to deal with a few issues. Nothing too serious, but it had a huge impact on me. I started to feel very alone, even though there were so many people around me, and tried to distance myself from everyone. Kind of like a room-full-of-people-yet-feel-so-alone feeling. I can’t explain it properly, but it wasn’t nice. I realised that as the days went on, I started to become quiet and depressed. And that isn’t me – at all! Why was I quiet? I was thinking…way too much. About possibilities and outcomes of things that hadn’t even happened yet. And I really shouldn’t have…

I find that when you are generally a happy person, sometimes it’s good to feel a little sad. Sounds weird, but everyone has their moments. Without sadness, there would be no happiness, right?

I remember as a teen, the smallest, insignificant matter would arise – and I thought the world was going to end. Now, I face real issues and my reaction is nada. Just a big sigh.

Right now, a few of my close friends are on placement all over the world, but the majority are revising for their final year exams. It’s so surreal. I remember my first day at university – so hopeful for the four years to come. And then life got real. Jobs, student loan, rent, food. Plus usual university drama. It isn’t quite over for me yet, but some of my friends are dead scared for the future. Whatever career plans we came into university with, most of ours (including mine) flew out of the window.

So, the message in this post isn’t just for my reassurance. It goes out to those friends and anyone who feels lost, confused and sad.

I read somewhere about the findings of an interesting study by Dr. Masaru Emoto. If you are interested, you can read his book:ย The Messages Hidden in Water. He claimed that human consciousness has an effect on the molecular structure of water and held different experiments to prove his hypothesis. There were various aspects in his experiments, but in a nutshell this is what he did (i.e. what fascinated me). He took pure distilled water, observed the unaltered water molecules under a microscope and took pictures of them. He then did several things, some of which include:

1) Sticking words onto each bottle of distilled water; just written words on paper, like truth, eternal, evil, thank you, you disgust me etc.

2) Giving a bottle of the distilled water to those practising different religions, such as Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam etc, and asking them to keep the bottle near them when they pray.

3) Playing music and speeches next to the bottles of distilled water.

The results were what took me back. The water molecules had changed. They were beautiful, almost the picture of innocence and pure.

Before a prayer ceremony at lake Biwa in 1999.Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

Before a prayer ceremony at Lake Biwa in 1999.
Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

After a prayer ceremony at Lake Biwa in 1999.Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

After a prayer ceremony at Lake Biwa in 1999.
Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

With the word "Eternal" stuck to it.Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

With the word “Eternal” stuck to it.
Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

With the word "Evil" stuck to it.Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

With the word “Evil” stuck to it.
Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

With the words "Love" and "Gratitude" stuck to it.Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

With the words “Love” and “Gratitude” stuck to it.
Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

After the MLK speech was played next to it.Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

After the MLK Jnr. speech was played next to it.
Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

After Symphony No. 4 by mozart was played next to it.Souce: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

After Symphony No. 4 by Mozart was played next to it.
Source: http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

There are so many more pictures, but you get the point. Obviously, his research gained some criticism because it’s very controversial blah blah. It makes perfect sense to me though. It is also good to remember that 90% of our body is water. Imagine what our thoughts are doing to us, inside? (You get 10 ninja points if you know what film that’s from!) STAY HAPPY! I’ll give you a tiny allowance for the sad times ๐Ÿ˜‰

I know that in a decade, we’ll look back at our lives and laugh about how serious we were. Just like we do now, thinking about our teen years. But I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason.

When I was six-years old, I had to make the biggest decision of my life, to date. I don’t really want to say what it was, for personal reasons, but if I chose the other option, I would probably be in India struggling to find my way. Or I could be in London; I don’t really know. But either way, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t have met the incredible people I have, in my life, or found my passion for cooking, amongst many other things!

No matter how lost, lonely or helpless you feel – hang on! It can only get better. My mind tends to be relatively solution-based, rather than problem-based. So, when things get bad, I will think and dwell (unfortunately) about the issue at first – and then I start looking for positives. I look for either the solutions or positive outcomes of the situation, obviously depending on what the issue is at hand. When things get even worse, you’re the only one who is going to benefit from it. Whatever the situation, one way or another, you will overcome it and you will become stronger, more wise, experienced and more insightful. It’s all in your mindset.

So, switch off the pessimistic inside you and start nurturing the optimistic. There is nothing you can’t handle that the universe throws at you. Except a meteorite…that might be painful.

But seriously, wake up happy and seize the day. Life becomes so much more beautiful and worth living.

Never lost faith! Persevere, and you’ll realise just how strong you really are.

I hope you all have a brilliant day, and remember – smile ๐Ÿ™‚

The Liebster Award – my response and…wait, what? I’m breaking the rules?!

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Thank you to Dutch Guyana for nominating me for the Liebster Award! To be honest, I had no idea what the Liebster Award was, so I researched and it sounds quite fun, more than winning itself – so I thought I’d give it a go.

The rules are: publicly thank the person that nominated you; then, tell everyone 11 things about yourself. Answer the 11 questions asked of you, and, in turn, make 11 questions for your own 11 nominees.ย Link to those 11 nominees, and tell them about it at their blogs.

I might have to break the rules a little. Okay, maybe by quite a lot. Rules are meant to be broken, right? I’m not sure if I know of 11 bloggers who entice me to their blogs – I can hardly keep up with my own! (On that note, sorry for being MIA recently – I’ve been quite busy!) As I was saying, the blogs I follow aren’t really new; they’ve got quite a strong fan-base. So therefore, I’ll tell you 11 things about me, and I’ll answer the questions Dutch Guyana has set for me – but my nominations and questions for the nominees will have to be withheld for a little while until I find new blogs I think deserve to win!

So here are 11 things you may or may not know about me:

1) I’m a female of 21 years of age.

2) The first item of food I ever “cooked” was a boiled egg, at the age of four.

3) I’m studying a biology-related degree, but I’m on a placement at the moment.

4) The person who knows my deepest, darkest secret is my Mum!

5) My real name has 9 letters in it.

6) My favourite colour is white. Red is next.

7) The closest person in the world to me is my sister.

8) I have a fear of needles/anything that pierces the skin and humanoids.

9) I’m double-jointed.

10) I can speak Mandarin-Chinese fluently, as well as read and write.

11) I’m secretly addicted to the Kardashians.

And here are my answers to Dutch Guyana’s questions:

1) Describe yourself in an elevator pitch.

An incredibly crazy “fun-sponge”; mature yet childish, with a weird sense of humour. You’ll never be able to fully understand me.

2) How do you look back on yesterday?

A triumph. Since Saturday, I have had a chalazion on my left eye, that is incredibly painful. Working in a white-washed lab didn’t make it any easier so I’m quite glad I worked well, under the circumstances.

3) What are your plans for tomorrow?

I’ll be heading down to London after work, to see friends and family. Nothing too spectacular otherwise.

4) What will you do today?

Well, today has already finished…nearly. I could tell you what I did today, but it wasn’t fun, so I’ll leave it out.

5)ย What will bring a smile to your face at the mere mention of it? Is there a story behind that?

Riverside. It’s about 30 seconds from my house, but it’s my most favourite place. And there are a thousand stories relating to it!

6) What will get you angry just by thinking of it? Why?

Hmm, this is a good question. I try to not let things bug me too much nowadays, so off the top of my head, I can’t think of anything. Oh, I know. Ignorance. I severely dislike people who say they do not like/agree with/want something without knowing what it is.

7)ย Name a documentary that made a big impression on you? Why?

Anything with David Attenborough is pretty much amazing; he has that Morgan Freeman effect with talking about nature. Other than that, I really enjoyed the Food Unwrapped series, on Channel 4. It’s not really a documentary, but it was so interesting. I now know to make sure my tiger prawns have two eyes on them!

8)ย How would you suggest to end modern-day slavery?

Invent a powdery substance that induces thoughts of sunshine and rainbows into people’s brains, and deposit it into drinking water. By sunshine and rainbows, I mean a dose of happiness, sharing-is-caring-policy and we-are-one theory. In other words, I have no idea.

9) What are your thoughts on ‘world peace’.

There will never be any peace until everyone remembers that we belong to each other. Then again, there would be no peace if it weren’t for conflict.

10) Did you help Nature today? How? Why?

I threw my rubbish in the bin, instead of the floor. Does that count?

11) Do you have a cell phone? If so, what do you use it for?

I do have a mobile phone. I use it to keep in contact with everyone; text, call, social media etc – as well as the odd games here and there. It also comes in handy when I need directions getting somewhere. …oh, technology.

Wahey, all answered! I promise, when I find 11 new bloggers, who should be nominated for the Liebster Award, I’ll follow up another post and let them know, along with my questions!

Also, in response to my absence, I’ll be posting 5 new recipes and also give you an update on my chalazion, once I’m back from London. If the chalazion goes down before the 6 week mark I’ve been given, I’ll share what I did to you all. Sharing is caring! And if it doesn’t, I’ll do a post-surgery post.

Until next time (which will be sooner, rather than later hopefully), have an awesomesauce day!

Here it begins…

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ย 

Welcome to my page! I’m Ninja – of course not my real name, but rather a play on it. The genius behind it was my Dad; he often called me Ninja Turtle *insert Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle theme tune*.

My extreme love of food and all of life’s quirks has driven me to start my own blog. My life isn’t anything extraordinary, but I come across the most fascinating people/situations. I can’t keep it all to myself! Also, being a keen foodie, I will also post recipes, cooking tips and tricks, as well as my own reviews on places I have been to eat!

N.B. I am not an official food critic. Everything I post on this blog is purely my own opinion and it will not be influenced in any way. My opinions should not be considered as a form of personal/commercial attack.ย 

I hope you enjoy reading my posts, and feel free to comment on anything!